WTF?

Remember RTFM: “Read The F**king Manual” a pithy little phrase invented by programmers to encourage their customers to learn the complex new system they’ve just had written before telling anyone who will listen how shit it is...

I have news:  No one reads the f**king manual.  Your average smartphone maker is lucky if they can get people to read the Quick Start leaflet which tells them to charge the bloody thing before they power it on…

What you want is quick, concise advice to get you a strong start into the strange new world of the game.  Preferably you want that advice from someone whose abilities are similar to yours... if you're a middle aged player late to gaming, this is the place!

I’m nobody.  I’m the guy who doesn’t read the manual.  I’m an ordinary bloke who was barely a teenager when Pong was state of the art.  But that’s why some of you should listen.  I’m you.  I’m not a pre-pubescent twitch killer with thousands of hours of experience and the reflexes of a coked up Ninja (if you are, you are still might learn from this site).

I’m a fifty year old man with slow reflexes, poor hand eye coordination, no sense of direction or spatial awareness and a brain which only has eighty percent of the bandwidth required to play a modern FPS.  But I still have fun!

I can go through these games set to the lowest level of difficulty and still get that rush of satisfaction when I get to the end… just like you do.  You can still feel superior to me… because you probably are.  That doesn’t necessarily mean the contents of this site are of no use to you.